The week started with such profound and beautiful tributes to Anthony Causi, a talented and magnanimous person, let alone photographer, who I knew casually but not as well as many others in our New York sports community, whose life was captured by Mike Vaccaro in one of so many tributes this week.
On Friday we lost someone else like that; someone who I had come to know more than casually over the past year as we worked together, someone who had as big a heart, and as big ideas and dreams as anyone I had ever met in this business. Ironically and sadly it was his heart that gave out in a New Jersey hospital after a two week battle with Coronavirus. Like Anthony, Jim Tsokanos was a larger than life personality, a people person who like many others in these challenging times, was taken from us, and from his wife and two young kids way too soon. He is going to be missed by so many from the communications community, the Greek Orthodox Church, the companies whose guidance he had given, his friends and classsmates at Paramus Catholic and Iona College, and thousands of others who he came across in a lifetime of connections, discussions and trips to places far and wide.
We always hear the words “I feel like I’ve known you all my life” bandied about, but my time with Jim was really that. I don’t really remember who put us together a little over a year ago (I have since found out it was our mutual friend David Cooper); he called me one day to say he was taking on a project and someone had given him my name and would I be interested in talking about it. He then started mentioning names of days past that he had worked with…Chris DeMaria, Peachy Kellmeyer, Pete Arrichiello, Mandy O’Donnell…people that I had worked with, just at different stages of our careers. He grew up in River Vale…I LIVE in River Vale. He went to Iona when I WORKED at Iona just after graduating from Fordham. He went to Paramus Catholic and threw out some names of people he knew that I knew again. Later in our working relationship I mentioned my sister in law Gina had just bought a house on Long Beach Island; not only did Jim’s parents now live on LBI but he had a boat just down Long Beach Boulevard from where my sister’s house was and he offered to take us out so he could show me the history and the water that he loved so much (we did on July 4th, and I was lucky enough to have brought my wife Laura and daughter Christine along so that they got to meet Jim as well). He always was amazed, as was I, that we had lived these kind of parallel lives and had never actually crossed paths; even though ours is a business of relationships and events, it was a great example of why you never stop meeting people, taking calls and expanding your reach, and we were looking forward to what was ahead, including getting to meet Jim’s family on LBI later this summer.
Life as we know, doesn’t always take us down the road we think we will go.
In the little over a year I did spend with Jim…lunches, drinks, lots of calls and many meetings especially on one project…I was always taken by how he loved the big idea and the big win. It was always about the Wall Street Journal or CNN or the New York Times, and we complimented each other well, as I loved the battle for the little spaces that could build up to the big platform. He came from the big agency background of large clients and big budgets; I came at things from the aggregation side of keeping the storytelling going and moving the needle up. Our styles complimented, and we learned from each other as he figured out what life was like in the consulting world, one which I had been cast into over a dozen years ago. It was a fun fit, and even if we never worked together on another project, I knew I had a friend and colleague for life. That’s just the way Jim was…and I certainly wasn’t alone in feeling that way.
The last two times we spoke…one was at Gallagher’s for a drink in February…Jim ALWAYS wanted to meet, not just have a call…and the other was actually a call just as he was taking ill two weeks ago, he was so full of excitement and hope for what was coming…his work with the Greek Orthodox Church, wanting to go to games at Iona and take his kids now that Rick Pitino was going to be men’s basketball coach, going to Atlantic City on his boat from LBI with our wives this summer (we just also bought a house there, and Jim was ready with the list of contractors we could use), and all the work projects he was getting involved with through his contacts, ones from his past life at Ketchum, MS and L and through his current business partner George Gigicos…he was so ready for what was coming, and that enthusiasm was always a welcomed break from the day to day we all deal with…a refreshing breath of air on a stale winter day.
However with all that talk…and anyone who knew Jim knows how much he liked to talk…he ended our conversations and our meetings always the same way. This is all great, I love what you are doing and we are going to do some great things together, but most importantly how can I help YOU. It wasn’t contrived, it wasn’t a sales line, it was sincere.
Jim was always about figuring out not just what all his vast connections could do for him and his growing business; it was what he could do for you. In some of the conversations not just in the past day but over the entire time I was blessed to know him, all of the shared roads we have traveled and people we knew circled back to that; he was all about community, friendship and giving…and he was always trying to learn and do something for someone.
And now we have the reality of today…and the tough times ahead for Jim’s family and his business partners, and for all who he brought together through such a charmed and interesting life; one of service, learning and growth.
It’s not going to be easy, but the hope, and I am a believer in hope at all times, is that all those Jim did for will now do for him, and his family and those who need the help. I know I will. I don’t know what that will be yet, or when it will be needed, but I won’t forget the random acts of kindness and caring I witnessed from a man I was just getting to know, yet I, and many others, felt like I knew forever. And forever just doesn’t stop because he physically isn’t with us right now.
His spirit, his magnanimous personality, his drive, his ever widening still circle of connections, will continue on, and won’t be forgotten by those who Jim touched, whether it was for a few minutes, years ago or for decades at the places he worked or the many events he attended.
He lived a great life, and our lives are better for having been a small part of his big world.
I don’t know if Anthony Causi and Jim Tsokanos ever crossed paths in this world. They too seem to have lived parallel lives; but I’m pretty sure somewhere they are together today, finding a way to help all of us through these difficult times. I would have liked to have had the chance to have had them meet, and I’m pretty sure the conversation would have been a fun one. Hopefully all of us still here can help both their legacies continue on. Some bright lights coming from the gloom.
And Jim, I will miss you my friend. You will always be on my mind and your family in my heart.
Thanks for all. We will keep it going just as you did for so many.
And don’t worry, I have this round. And the next.
