Maybe it’s because I’m older and in the range where your have friends and colleagues whose partners, and parents are just reaching the end of that circle of life more often. Maybe it’s because we close in on the most profound day of loss for so many of us…September 11…that we notice these things more. Maybe it’s because it’s the end of summer, and many who were ailing get to some sort of mental state where they decide it’s time for God to call them home. Maybe it’s none of these and it’s a strange coincidence.
Maybe it’s a little bit of all of it and then some.
What is not a maybe is that in the past two or three weeks it seems like every day we are losing a family member of a close friend, a longtime colleague, or someone we know of, or know at a distance who have had their own impact.
Examples? I have had four very good friends who have lost their moms in just the past week. We lost George Raveling, a man of great thought and inspiration, Jim Murray, who in addition to being such a vital voice of sanity around the Philadelphia Eagles had the foresight and wisdom to launch Ronald McDonald House, Ken Dryden, an introspective athlete turned lawyer turned leader who influenced a generation, Davey Johnson, a thoughtful man who led a impacted scores of professional athletes, and personally for me two men who I LOVED spending time with back in the day, Larry Glueck, whose quiet leadership as a Fordham football coach inspired many, and Jim Fuhse, my WTA partner who lived life the way we should, and who took his very debilitating illness on with dignity until the end. I even learned of another good colleague who had to put her beloved dog down this week.
What’s up with all the loss?
Well, what’s up is a lesson and a legacy for all of us. Learn from loss, live for others, treat people well, remember those for all they DID for others, have empathy and check in on those affected, and maybe most importantly, swing big but smartly while we are here and have the chance.
I look and listen and text about all these folks, even the ones I didn’t know directly. Names of impact big as some, but even those who weren’t “well known” had impact well beyond what even they may have hoped. Lives well lived as colleagues, moms, companions, friends…people.
People.
Now that we have started back at school, those who teach will be able to learn and impart thoughts on those coming next. Things we should all infuse in those discussions…curiosity, empathy, deep listening, understanding…all qualities that are much needed for a cohesive world that seems slanted towards hate and fear and shouting…none of which are needed, and none of which those who have left us would want, would they?
So as we move towards a tough day for many…9/11…and have those around us figuratively and physically going through some tough days…help us all look for the sunshine, and remember an oft used quote from another who left us with a life well lived, the late Vin Scully.
“Don’t be sad because it’s over, be joyful because it happened.”
Take big, but thoughtful swings in a productive way.
I’m so sorry to my friends who have suffered loss during this unusual stretch, let’s all do better for all of them, and it starts with little things. They all add up.
Little Things May Not Always Be Seen, And They Are Not Easy…But They Matter…