Last Thursday as I was hustling to class at Columbia and was thinking more about our guest, grading papers and getting ready for finals I heard a horn, and turned to my left to see a car, with the light in his favor, coming across Claremont Avenue. I stopped before I entered the middle of the street, and ironically there was a woman next to me who was doing th same thing. She looked at me and said “Guess we need to focus on today more,” befoe we both waited to cross at the right time.
Great lesson elarned again to stay in the present, without looking to far ahead, because you could miss something pretty important…like a car whose driver may also be distracted. Good lesson for the season, no?
In his book, “The Daily Dad,’ author Ryan Holiday always talks about the way we can bring long term value to relationships, especially with our kids. One of the terms he uses as the year heads to an end was the difference between “presents and presence.” In the hyper competitive world we are in today, that idea of things vs. people and places holds true not just for our Next Gen, but for everyone around us.
On our weekly podcast we have been asking our guests “What’s on their mantel.” What is the “thing” tangible or in memory, that you take out and remember when you are reflective, or when times are tough. Often times, actually almost every time since we have been asking, those “things” are not trophies or signed items, they are mementos from family, from early career stops, from places that you ended up being with that evolve into a thought, a smile, an experience. Even the tangible things…baseball gloves, ticket stubs…are not about a career reward, they are about a time and a place that holds great value, maybe only to you and those few people that you walked that mile with.
People and places is the business we are in, and are the hallmarks of the life we lead, much more than just things. Now I have lots of things, but most are small one of a kind remembrances of a place I have been or something that was experienced that was unique. It is something that is wholly mine but not in a selfish way, and most of those things probably hold little monetary value to others, but they are invaluable to me.
Those are the presents we should cherish most as we go through this mysterious trip called life.
The other piece of the Holiday quote is about being present and having a presence, something we need to constantly be doing to make sure we are holding on to those mental images or those experiences that are here today and never come back. We check lists, we rush from place to place, we are time challenged to make sure our 14/7 is being used correctly, but we need to breathe, to look left and right, and to enjoy the ride we are on. That involves being present with the people we are with and the places we go as much as we humanly can be. That means listening and learning from those around us, never assuming we are done learning, and being interested of even the mundane around us.
Don’t take anything for granted.
So as we move into what is usually the busiest time of year, a reminder to be present, to look left and right and to check the crosswalk…that is the greatest present we can give not just ourselves, but all those around us. It won’t stop giving either, as long as we don;t look to far ahead.
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