Advice From A Former NFL Star; Answer Frustration With An Email To Oneself…

A few years ago we had former Eagles star Brian Dawkins join us on the podcast where he talked about the importance of “Mental Wellness” and the things he did to try and deescalate situations while making sure that he was able to improve and deal with the issues we all face.

I thought about that conversation this week after people commented on the ability to pause vs. just leaning in to every conformation. I was also reminded of the Dawkins suggestion during a conversation I had this week about the inability of certain colleagues to respond to emails or texts, not because they were too busy but because there is a feeling amongst some that if you don’t respond, things will go away, while forgetting that an industry may be vast, but it is actually quite small when you look at the amount of times interactions in a business built on actual communication and human contact is tantamount to success.

The exercise Dawkins did then, and probably does now is pretty simple When he got frustrated or was angered by a situation, rather than lash out in the emotionality of a moment, he paused and then wrote an email detailing his frustration…to himself.

He would re-read the words time and again, no matter how distraught he was, making sure he clearly stated his frustration.

Then he deleted it.

It made him feel better to go through the exercise, to actualize his thoughts in words and to read through them as he calmed down and avoided unnecessary confrontation.

Now that doesn’t mean he forgave and moved on. He filed it away, but he didn’t give the offending party the ability to let him/her know that he was bothered by an action every time. Sometimes but not every day. He picked his spots where words and speaking could lead to a positive outcome or a point needed to be made, but for those emotional, sometimes sill moments, he wrote it down and let it go.

I took Dawkins advice this week, and realized after thinking and writing and reading that little good could come from a situation that was frustrating, and let it go.

For now anyway.

The words mattered, they mattered to me, they wouldn’t change the situation, but it allowed me to move on.

Message deliver to myself, which was quite important.